


Eastern Youkai Huntresses' Wounds ~ Nightmare Diary

by ac_chicken



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Established Relationship, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Trans Female Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2020-11-24 11:22:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20906834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ac_chicken/pseuds/ac_chicken
Summary: The heart of a youkai exterminator carries a heavy burden.





	1. Chapter 1

September 19th, 2:37 AM.

A cool breeze blew across Hakurei Shrine, across Reimu Hakurei’s face. Reimu Hakurei stood rigidly with her eyes closed in the autumn air. Reimu Hakurei breathed in and out.

Twenty minutes ago, Reimu Hakurei was in bed. Twenty minutes ago, Reimu Hakurei was terrified. At 2:37 AM, Reimu Hakurei was still terrified, but less so. Twenty minutes ago, Reimu Hakurei woke from a bad dream.

Reimu Hakurei watched her parents die again. She had watched her parents die on more nights than she could count. No matter how many youkai she exterminated, no matter how many incidents she resolved, no matter how many duels she won, she was still a helpless child in her dreams.

Standing in the fresh air, she still couldn’t help but remember that inchling girl – Shinmyoumaru, was it? She was a child too, but not so helpless with that mallet of hers.

Those words still haunted her.

"I can see a future where you understand your weakness and ally with me."

She was beginning to understand her weakness. She didn’t like it.

At 3:04 AM, Reimu Hakurei returned to her bed and fell asleep again.


	2. Chapter 2

Reimu Hakurei was having an ordinary, boring day. Reimu Hakurei was playing hanafuda with Shinmyoumaru Sukuna in the den of the shrine.

“Koi-koi,” said Shinmyoumaru. For the one hundred and eighth hand in a row, Reimu could not form any yaku in response. Shinmyoumaru was getting away with murder. How could Reimu have such a run of bad luck? Could Shinmyoumaru see the future or something?

“Why, yes, I can,” said Shinmyoumaru. “Just another power of the Miracle Mallet!”

“I would have liked to know that before we started playing cards,” Reimu griped.

“I could read your fortune for you! Call it a consolation prize.”

“You know I can talk to the gods myself, right? I don’t exactly need a fortune teller.” But Shinmyoumaru was already gazing down at her mallet.

“I can see...in your future...” Shinmyoumaru was really making a big production of this.

Suddenly, Shinmyoumaru’s expression turned deadly serious.

“I can see a future where you understand your weakness and ally with me.”

Suddenly, the entire world fell away. Reimu was shunted out of her shrine and into the Forest of Magic. Her entire body seized up as she realized how familiar this hot summer night was.

Her mother and father, taking her on a trip to learn her duties as a shrine maiden…

The rustling in the trees that they had insisted was only the wind, sweetie…

The bated breath of a youkai standing _right behind her…_

Reimu Hakurei bolted upright out of someone else’s bed.

“Hey, ‘mu,” Marisa muttered sleepily. “You have a bad dream?”


	3. Chapter 3

“Are y’alright, darlin’?” Marisa Kirisame was still getting her bearings from being woken suddenly, but by now it was obvious that her lover was not okay. “Yer sweatin’...”

“I’m fine,” Reimu replied. “It’s just hot out, that’s all.” _Just like that night._

“Yer shakin’, too. What’s goin’ on, Reimu?” In all their years together, Marisa had never seen her like this – no matter who she fought, no matter what was happening to Gensokyo.

“I–“

Her breath caught in her throat as she began to sob.

“Reimu!”

Marisa bolted upright with her and wrapped both arms around her. The woman she loved was falling apart and she had to be there for her. Now.

Reimu’s body quivered with her erratic breath as she clutched Marisa for dear life. Turning herself around, she buried her face in Marisa’s shoulder as they collapsed back onto the bed.

Marisa caressed her gently as she sobbed and sobbed. She still didn’t know what was wrong, but that could wait. Right now, Reimu needed her.

“Shh, it’s okay, darlin’. I’ll keep ya safe, I promise.” Marisa never meant anything she had ever said more than that.

Reimu’s sobs only grew more violent. _What did I ever do to deserve a woman like you, Marisa?_ That was what she wanted to say, but all she could choke out was “Th–thank you...”

Marisa held her a bit tighter and stroked her hair. All she wanted was to keep her lover as comfortable as possible through this. Eventually, she felt Reimu’s body start to relax and grow still.

“Thank you, Marisa.”

“Anythin’ fer you.” A moment’s silence passed. “Do ya wanna talk, darlin’?”

“In the morning.”

They fell asleep like that.


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing Reimu noticed as she was waking up was that her hair was being stroked.

“Mornin’, darlin’,” said Marisa. “Took ya long enough. Been waitin’ an hour or two like this.”

“And that’s my fault...how?”

“Well, if I got out from under ya, I’d wake ya up. Can’t go doin’ that to the woman I’m madly in love with, can I?”

“Oh, shut up,” Reimu said as she playfully punched Marisa in the arm.

“H-hey now!” Marisa grinned.

“You should know by now that your witchly charms don’t work on me,” Reimu said as she began rolling off of Marisa. “Breakfast?”

“Sure. I know you wanna eat my miso soup every morning.”

“Shut _up!_”

* * *

Marisa Kirisame rubbed her upper arm (that second punch would definitely leave a mark) as she began gathering everything she needed to make breakfast. A pot, miso, tofu, spring onion, water, two bowls, a ladle…

Marisa suddenly felt a lump in her throat as she remembered the events of last night.

_I’ve never seen her like that before. What...what happened to her? _Marisa tried to busy herself with chopping up the tofu and onion, but couldn’t get her mind off of it.

_What in __Sam Hill__ could a girl like her be scared of?_ Marisa started sprucing up the table in the dining room as she waited for the water to boil.

_Don’t tell me...please don’t tell me she’s like me._


	5. Chapter 5

“Soup’s on!” Marisa shouted from the other end of the house.

No response.

“Reimuuuuu! Breakfast is ready!” Marisa shouted again.

Still no response.

“Reimu...” Marisa wandered into her bedroom, finding a Reimu who had fallen back asleep.

_She’s beautiful._ Marisa watched her messy-haired lover breathe in and out for a moment. _She’s beautiful and she better git outta bed._

“Rei-muuuuuuuuuuuu!” Marisa shouted as she jostled her lover’s arm. “Git up, git up, git up!”

* * *

Marisa finally sat down to breakfast with Reimu as she rubbed her upper arm (that third punch would _definitely_ leave a mark). “Ya like yer soup?” she asked.

“Of course, dear. You always make the best miso soup,” said Reimu, giving a compliment that Marisa had been trying to extract from her for the past three weeks.

“Aw, quit bein’ such a cornball!” said Marisa, with a shit-eating grin.

Reimu smiled back and the two of them ate in silence for a moment.

“I’m guessing you’re still wondering about last night,” said Reimu. Marisa wasn’t _this_ playful unless something was on her mind.

“Uh...yeah, but, y-ya know, y’ain’t gotta talk about it if ya don’t want t-”

“Marisa?”

“R-Reimu?”

Reimu gently grasped her lover’s hand.

“I trust you. You know that, right?”

“...yeah. Yeah, ya sure do.”

Reimu’s grip tightened.

“I don’t like keeping secrets. Especially not from you, Marisa.”

“I know. Thanks fer trustin’ me.”

“So,” Reimu began, “let me tell you about my parents.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Well,” Reimu said, “let me tell you what I can remember about my parents.”

Reimu wasn’t making eye contact, but Marisa was still giving her full attention.

“Did yer folks...do anything bad to ya?” Marisa said. “S-sorry, not tryin’ to pry-”

“Marisa, it’s okay. And no, I don’t remember them mistreating me,” Reimu said. “What I do remember is them dying in front of me.”

“...I’m so sorry.”

“It was on a night like last night, right here in the Forest of Magic,” Reimu continued, ignoring Marisa’s sympathy. “That’s probably why I dreamt about it.”

“...You’re really strong.”

“I know.”

Reimu fell silent for a moment, holding Marisa’s hand a bit tighter. Then, she burst into tears. Her sobs were the only sound in the house as she desperately gripped Marisa’s hand. Marisa watched her wordlessly with concern in her eyes. The miso soup sat untouched on the table. Marisa squeezed Reimu’s hand harder, uncertain of what to do.

Suddenly, Reimu practically jumped into Marisa’s lap and wrapped her arms around her tightly. Reimu was starving for whatever relief and comfort she could get. Marisa embraced her back as warmly as she could, trying to hold space for her lover’s sorrow.

“I love you,” Reimu choked out.

“I love you too.”

Reimu kept sobbing into Marisa’s shoulder. She sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed.

“Thank you,” she said, “for being my strength.”


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Reimu finished crying, the miso soup was cold.

“How are ya feelin’?” Marisa asked. “You need some water?”

“Wouldn’t hurt.” Reimu said. She was now pleasantly nuzzled into Marisa’s shoulder, having regained her composure.

“...Yer gonna have ta get off my lap first, sweetie.”

“Some magician you are,” Reimu said as she slid back into her own chair.

_I guess she’s not _quite_ like me,_ Marisa thought to herself as she began filling a cup with the leftover water she’d retrieved for the miso soup. _Not sure if what she went through is better or worse, but she don’t deserve anything that’s even in the same neighborhood._

“...Are you alright?” Reimu said as Marisa handed her the cup.

“Huh? Yeah,” Marisa replied. “Shouldn’t I be askin’ you that?”

“You’re shaking.”

Marisa hadn’t noticed, but the water was lapping against the sides of the cup in violent little waves. _Dammit! Right now really ain’t the time, Marisa,_ she thought to herself.

“Oh, y’know, I was jes’ puttin’ a spell on it.”

“...Alright.” Reimu started drinking from the cup. “Tastes magical.”

“You know it!”

Reimu reached out to hold Marisa’s hand, and her lover happily obliged. A moment’s silence passed.

“To tell you the truth,” Reimu began, “I don’t really remember all that much about my parents besides them dying. I was pretty young.”

Marisa gave her an understanding nod.

“Mom was the previous Hakurei shrine maiden, of course. Dad was some old coot...you kinda remind me of him, in a way.”

“Whaddaya mean by that?”

“Oh, you know, he was a real prankster. One time he tied a string to a doll I wasn’t playing with and tried to convince me it was a tsukumogami.”

“Oh, like this?” Marisa mimed pulling the doll around by the string.

“Yeah.”

“Aw, c’mon, I ain’t _that_ mean.”

“You’re right, you’re way meaner.”

“What? What have I ever done to you?” Marisa questioned in mock indignation.

“Well, let’s see...”

* * *

After half an hour of idle conversation, Reimu finally left Marisa’s house to return to the shrine. Marisa tossed the leftover miso soup back into the pot and began reheating it before searching for her most recently pilfered spellbook. Opening to a random page, Marisa found “A Spell to Make Your Beloved Tell the Truth.”

_ Ain’t that a funny little co-inky-dink, _she thought to herself. _Good thing she don’t read these._


	8. Chapter 8

“Do you have any idea just how selfish you’re being right now?” Marisa Kirisame’s father said, standing tall over her. “Your mother would be disgusted to see you like this.”

Marisa was scared, shaking, wondering why she was being talked to like this, what she had done that was remotely wrong…

“Take off that dress. Now. Go change into your normal clothes,” he said, and then he uttered a name Marisa hadn’t heard in decades.

“No!” she shouted.

“Don’t talk back to me! Don’t you dare talk back to me,” he said, and repeated that forbidden name.

“Yer not my daddy,” Marisa said, trying her hardest to hold back the tears. “Not any more.”

She stormed out of the family residence, listening to her father shout _that name_ over and over.

“You think Mom up in Heaven is proud of you? She’d be disgusted!” he shouted. “Get over yourself and get back here already!”

But Marisa kept walking.

Until she felt a hand on her shoulder from behind, that is.

“Sweetie, are you alright?” Reimu asked her. “You’re shaking...”

Marisa wasn’t sure where she was in her first moments back in the waking world. Split between the past and the present, she began to scream.


	9. Chapter 9

"Marisa!" Reimu shouted. Her lover scrambled upright out of the futon they shared on the floor of Hakurei Shrine.

"...Reimu," Marisa said. "It's you..."

"Are you alright, Marisa?"

"I-I'm fine..." Marisa said, trying not to sob and failing. Her lover stood up and embraced her.

"You are not fine. What's wrong?" Reimu said.

Marisa just sobbed into Reimu's shoulder for a moment, leaning her weight into her lover.

"I'm sorry, 'mu, I just...I wanted...to be strong for you..."

"...Marisa..." Reimu's eyes opened wide. "Marisa, I love you and I want to keep you safe, okay?"

"Th-thank you, Reimu..." Marisa said.

"We can talk about this in the morning, alright?" Reimu said, tightening her embrace. "I'll keep you safe."

"O-okay," Marisa said between sobs. They both walked back to their futon and lied down.

"Do you want me to get you some water?"

"Y-yes, please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.


End file.
